Weep Not For The Memories

I just did realize that I haven't updated this in quite sometime. I didn't keep you all in the loop as I was going away... And I didn't say when I came back.

On the 15th of March, I left on a journey. I found that my heart is still open to give love willingly to another. I was able to take a step. I may have fallen, but I reaped so many wonderful things... Saw so much beauty. I gained knowledge about myself... Felt myself transforming into a new person. Occasionally, I gave into weak and destructive impulses. But, as we all must learn, sometimes we must learn things in a hard and very large way.

I fell in love. I fell down. I climbed back up. I am STRONG. I am ME.

April's Fool

Waking up to find my lover with another
That's the harder pill to swallow
Yeah finally waking to see all the things in front of me
Nothing's going right like it's all a bad joke
That when I'll realize I'm April's fool today
I'll keep falling for a lie;
A pretty little picture with a fence outside
I won't see a cold bed where you'll turn away from me
Still pretending you're mine
Open my eyes because I'm still April's fool today
Sitting on the sill there's an old red rose
Swore when you gave that it'd never grow old
Looking at now with the petals all dry, scents all gone
Yeah it really took me that long;
Guess you played me that well
You've turned me into April's fool again
And I'll keep falling for that little lie;
That pretty, pretty picture with the fence outside
Won't the cold bed but baby that's all right
Put your hand in mine and say everything's right
Make me April's fool tonight

Counting Your Blessings

Sometimes, we never truly realize how blessed we are in our lives until we make a huge choice... Go down a new path or forge our own through the unknown. We often take for granted the love of our family and friends, the gift and privelege of growing old, or even something as simple as having a bowl of cereal in the morning.

It's been a wonderful winter for me; full of choices, gifts, love, and faith. I've decided to forge a path and strike out on my own. I'm still as close to my mother as ever and her love is what gives me the strength and courage to know that I can do anything; while a father's love is special to his daughter, it is a mother that a daughter will always need and treasure. My mom and dad are the greatest blessings in my life. They keep their hearts open, allow me to try new things, and have given me all I need to be able to and feel confident about leaving.

So I will pray to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, that I not be deceived; that while I may make mistakes, I have the strength enough to not make them again... And grant me the wisdom to learn from them. I shall pray that as I spread my wings to fly from my mother and father, I have the will to keep my roots firmly planted... and always remember that a part my heart, myself, will always stay in my small and wonderful hometown of lil Delmar.

I thank you, Father, for all the blessings in my life; the wonderful parents that you have given me, the little sister that I have, and the love of all I hold dear. So please, Lord... Keep me as I leave and give us all the strength to get through the weeks ahead. Amen.

Ummm... Slow Down? Or no...

So... Quite a bit has happened since my last post. I started a fansite, lost my ex in a rather violent way, my brother got engaged, I'm getting ready to be a bridesmaid in his wedding on the 13th of March, and two days later I'm leaving for the other side of the country to give my relationship an honest to God chance.

My birthday was cool. Christmas was great. New Year's was just like it always is. Superbowl managed to piss me off. It's been the usual for me. Add work to the mix and it's been interesting.

Hang on tight, friends. This could get a lil loopy over the next few months :)

Cynics and Dreamers

I watched a movie today; "Big Fish." It made me think about something. The difference between cynics and dreamers; between the readiness to accept the facts in life while appreciating the existence of fiction.

I myself have always been a dreamer and do believe that while a cynic may survive in this life, a dreamer will thrive; being full of hope and the perserverence, the ambition and drive to pursue their dreams. A cynic will not see the magic and miracles in the world, being blinded by their close-minded beliefs.

Dreamers see magic in the blooming of a flower, the first cry of a newborn child, or the first snowfall of the year. A cynic may only see just another weed in the yard, an annoying new noise, or make a sound of dismay at the inconvenience at the appearance of white stuff on the ground.

So this day and everyday from now on... Be a dreamer and thrive in this life, not a cynic whose life merely passses them by.

A Toast To Moments

A smart woman once said, "Don't measure your life by the number of breaths you take, but rather the number of moments that take your breath away." My advice to you is to live the coming years and all those after by these words.

This year I will see the breathtaking views. I'll enjoy that kiss that knocks me off my feet; make me weak in the knees. I'll have nights I'll never remember with the people I'll never forget. I'll make new friends. Quit tying myself to those who can only hold me back.

This year YOU should laugh more freely. Love more openly; like you've never been hurt. Kiss with everything that you have. LIVE YOUR LIFE. IT IS MUCH TOO SHORT NOT TO.

Let Me Be Your Angel

Hearing you sing about an angel
Saw her on the street and she took your breath away
But baby she's just a pretty face
When you see me ya might as well be looking the other way
You'd let her break your heart just to make her smile
You don't even know you're breaking mine every day
But boy I'll still love you and you'll always take my breath away
So let me be your angel
Let me take your breath away; put a smile on your face
So run your fingers through my hair
I'm gonna show you how much I care
Baby let me be your angel
Talking about her breaking hearts along the way
She's the kinda girl doing that every day
But all the time I wish it's me you're looking for
You know I'll still love you and you'll always take my breath away
So let me be your angel
Tonight as you're seeing your angel's face
I'm seeing yours and hoping mine will take her place
So that maybe someday I'll open my eyes to see your face
Because boy I've never felt such grace
That's inside your gaze
So maybe I can be your angel
I could take your breath away; put a smile on your face
Maybe you'll run your fingers through my hair
Let me show you how much I care
Baby maybe you'll let me be your angel